Open Letter to the Spider on My Ceiling

Dear Spider:

You seem confused. You have walked the perimeter of the room at least two dozen times. Perhaps you are training for a marathon?  Whatever your reason, however, I must insist that you desist as you are ruining my sleep. 

I do not wish to harm you, however, as I'm sure you know from your professional spider handbook, no one, and I mean no one wants to have you touch them while they are sleeping. Therefore, I am consigned to counting your laps as I am not going to go get a ladder at this hour. 

Please be more considerate in the future.