5.7.15

Take Aways

I've been thinking a lot about what I'm taking away from my second marriage.  I'm not a person who believes everything happens for a reason, but I do think that you can learn from every experience. What I've learned from this experience is pretty valuable. Not all of it, some of it is fairly trivial, but I have a couple of good big pieces of information. 

- I could be more sensitive to the emotional needs of others.  Just because I think it's ridiculous that you got your feelings hurt by an offhanded remark by a coworker who, most likely, didn't mean it the way you think she did, doesn't mean that you're feelings are less hurt. Or that you don't need me to express sympathy. My emotional responses are not your emotional responses. I get it now. 

- I'm not willing to share every part of myself with anyone and I should be clear about that. If that's a deal-breaker for them, then that's the way it is. 

- Disparate life experiences are difficult to overcome. 

- Home ownership kind of sucks.  It's time-consuming and boring and confining. 

- There is such a thing as too much wine. Good guideline:  if you have more bottles of wine than days in the year, stop buying wine for a while. 

- The first time you can't think of a single gift to give your significant other for a birthday is when it's time to reevaluate the relationship. This seems trivial, but when you can't think of a single thing, be it a line of poetry or a donation to a cause they hold dear, something is wrong. It's an indicator that you're not invested.

I think these are pretty good things to have learned. Of course, it would have been nice to learn them under different circumstances, but fuck it. I learned. 

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