Skipper Sucks

I recently found an old diary. I got it for my birthday in 1982 and wrote exactly one entry in it before finding a better one that had both a lock and a unicorn on the cover. I actually have no recollection of this diary except that the entry in it was apparently written on the morning after my awesome slumber party. It is copied here, in all of its embarrassing entirety for your reading enjoyment. I have made comments in italics within the post. 

November 6, 1982 Saturday - I looked it up

Dear Fred, no idea why

My birthday party was yesterday. It was a slumber party. It was pretty fun. My cake was ALL chocolate!  Mom rented us movies and we stayed up all night watching them. Joanna fell asleep first. She's such a boring baby.  She still sucks her thumb!  I hate her. I wish I didn't have to invite her. remember Joanna. I never liked her. She was always the kid who was telling on somebody about something, she was really bossy and aggressive and she cried any time she didn't get her way.  She really wasn't likeable, but I had to invite everyone in my class at school to my birthday party.  And she gave me a Skipper!  Skipper is stupid. I don't even have any clothes for a Skipper and she can't even wear Barby (sic) clothes because she's short and has no boobs. She sucks. This was a big use of this word as my mother did not tolerate the use of the word suck. She can't even wear high heels. She looks like a boy and her hair is ugly. I hate her bangs. Mom says I can take her back and get something else. THANK GOD.  Because otherwise, life as we know it would have ended.

Stephanie gave me this diary. It's okay. There's no lock though.  I was obsessed with locking diaries for a while, even though I had nothing secret enough to require locked protection. She also gave me a cool bracelet that looks like fruit and is all different pastel colors and also she got me matching earrings!  I remember this jewelry. I think I wore it every day for a really long time. As a matter of fact, the only thing that stopped me wearing the bracelet was that the elastic that the fruit was attached to finally stretched out so much that it wouldn't stay on my wrist, and once the bracelet was too big, there was no sense in wearing the earrings anymore, right?

Michelle got me the new Malibu Barby and some clothes for her.  She's really fun! So fun it warranted an exclamation point! I already put her new outfit on her and braided her hair.  Wow.  Can you believe how fun that sounds?  Put clothes on a doll and give her a new hair style!  When I think about it now, though, I think almost the only things I ever did with my non-Skippers was play fashion show. Though, really, what else was there to do?  Play house? If I wanted to play house, I played in person, not through a Barbie proxy. 

Annette got me the Barby I literally had almost a hundred Barbies, but I couldn't spell it? styling head and we did her hair in little braids. She looks like Bo Derek.  It was 1982. "10" was on cable at least once a day. 

Kelly got me a bunch of tapes and art stuff so I can make my own tapes. I had gotten a stereo with a double tape deck and a record player for my birthday from my parents - on my actual birthday.  Kelly lived across the street and we had already started making tapes of our favorite songs. As I recall, early mixes included tracks from The Muppets, Pat Benetar, Crystal Gayle, The Chipmunks, The Rescuers, Blondie, and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas soundtrack. Obviously, I missed my calling as a radio programmer.  And she also gave me the Talking Heads tape! I'm so glad she's my best  friend. She really was a great best friend for me at that time of my life.  

Everybody else got me normal stuff. I got a Neil Diamond record, some more jewelry, a sweater, lots of head bands and lots of lip gloss and nail polish.  I loved headbands and lip gloss, but it was pretty standard gift fare at the time. I know I gave a lot of both of those things. 

My party favors were Bonnie Bell glitter lip gloss sets and everybody was really happy.  I neglected to record that they were also fruit flavored. I remember how excited I was to give those little sets. 

We had pancakes, waffles and crapes (sic) for breakfast and then everybody went home.  I can't wait to go to Toys R (and I wrote it backwards like in the logo) Us and get rid of Skipper. I will probably get either a Barby or crayons. I actually loved crayons more than Barbies - and about a thousand times more than Skipper!