A Huge Bite

I've decided it's time for a new adventure. I considered skydiving, but dismissed it because it's not the kind of adventure I'm really looking for. I want more than fun. I want a challenge.

Matt has started doing triathlons and wanted me to do them with him. The problem with that is that I can't run. And not just because I don't like it. I have very elastic knee joints, so when I run, my joints essentially come apart and when my foot hits the ground, the bones come crashing together. It's quite uncomfortable and, as you might guess, not good for my knees. So triathlons are out for me, but I like the idea of that kind of thing.

After doing some research, I've decided on open water swimming. I'm going to swim from the Golden Gate Bridge to the Bay Bridge. It's about six miles. That's a lot of swimming. In the San Francisco Bay.

This swim isn't until next spring, but that's okay, since I'll need every minute of that time. The distance isn't the real challenge. That's easy enough to work up to. It's the open (fucking freezing) water that's going to kick my ass seven ways to Sunday. I'm excited to do it, though.

I've already been swimming a lot. The thing I need to do is practice in open water. And I'm not going to get great practice for that here in Vegas. Lake Mead is pretty big, but nowhere close to as choppy as the bay. So there's that. I may have to take a few trips to the coast and jump in. I'm excited.

This is a huge bite. At least I have seven months to chew it, right?


Tips and Tricks for Not Being a Dumbass

1) Think about what you say before you say it.

2) Think about what you do before you do it.

3) Remember that we live in a world with immediate return, so think about what you post anywhere online before you commit it to the ether.

4) Don't text inappropriate/illegal things.

5) When replying to a question, consider whether you actually know the answer before acting like you do.

6) When presented with facts that contradict what you believe to be true/correct, make sure you're not actually wrong before make an argument.

7) Don't make things up to seem more interesting.

8) Lies, no matter how great or small will eventually bite you in the ass.

9) When re-telling someone else's anecdote, be sure the person you're talking to isn't the person who told you the story in the first place.

10) Recognize when you're being baited and do not engage.

(this is dedicated to Todd Akin and his ilk)