Life in a Title

Recently, a friend of mine said that the name of his autobiography would be Drunker Than I Thought.  This made me laugh.  Then it made me think what I'd call my own autobiography.  There are lots of possibilities.  But I also feel like titles are confining in some ways.  I mean, how do I (how does anyone) find a few words to encapsulate a life?  Daunting.  But then I thought again and realized that it's a fucking title and it could be fun to think of things and I should get the hell over myself.  So I thought of a few things.  Many were food related.  This makes a lot of sense since I love food. In the end, only one real food-related title made it into the list of possibilites. What is surprising is that as I was brainstorming ideas two allergy-related titles popped up.  They're kind of funny, so they're both on the list.  A few more speak to the way I'm feeling about my place in the world right now and a few are pieces of me.  The initial list was REALLY long.  But it's an interesting thing to do.  Both fun and painful.  Anyway, here are some of the titles I came up with:

Are You Gonna Eat That?
Acquired Taste
Stop Looking at Me
Not Exactly How I Pictured It
'No' is a Complete Sentence
Gone for Kleenex
I Don't Need a Map
Controlled Bleeding
I'm Not Tired
The Color of October


Let Me Alphebetize the Ways, Part II

Now for the N - Z list:

Narrative Magazine - original writing, free content with a great app for both iPhone and iPad.

Osborne, Robert - the host of most things TCM and a veritable font of classic movie information.  Even if I don't end up watching the movie he's presenting, I love to hear him talk about it.

Peripatetic - probably my favorite word of all time. I first heard it listening to the soundtrack to A Chorus Line when I was little. The word quintessence is in the same song. Fantastic.

Quail - a delicious little game bird that lays delicious little eggs.  Prepare it any way you like and I'll happily eat it. Mmmm.

Ruins - I've written about this before here, bit it's still true that I love stuff that's falling down and decaying. I love pictures of it, but more, I love to be among ruins. Apart from the major ruins where tourists flock, most ruins are quiet and heavy and so full of stories.

Swimming - anytime, anywhere, but especially in a calm ocean at night. In a former life, my boyfriend had a boat and we used to sail to Catalina and swim off the boat at night in Isthmus Cove.  Lovely.

Tomatoes in the summer.

Utah Phillips - Wobbly, singer, songwriter, grassroots activist, storyteller and dedicated human being. This was a man who believed in what he said and worked to do good for others. You can agree with his politics or not, but there's no denying he was in it for the long haul - no apologies, no explanations.

Vacation - leaving Saturday for NoCal and couldn't be more thrilled to be getting the fuck out of the goddamned desert for a while.

Wonder Woman - she's a lifelong obsession for me. I'm waiting for the day someone arrives at my door to reveal my true identity and present me with my outfit and magic lasso.

X-Acto knives - they're good and sharp and allow precision cutting of a multitude of materials (up to and including the occasional finger).  Exceptionally good for snowflakes and stencils, but also useful for cutting tags out of clothing.

Yoo-hoo - chocolate is the only flavor for me. It takes me back to my grandparents' house in the summer, feeding the squirrel out in the back of the house drinking Yoohoo and listening soo hard for the ice cream truck so I could get my Orange Pushup and a Screwball.

Zero entry pools. They're really nice.  I like not having to commit up to my waist all at once. Genius idea, so much more natural. Of course, you need quite a bit of space to pull it off, but I'm all for big pools.


Let Me Alphebetize the Ways, Part I

Lately, I've been Wendy Whiner.  As an antidote to that, I'm starting a list of things I like a lot.  To be fair, I'm doing it alphabetically.  Here's A-M:

Austen, Jane - I've always loved her writing, but I haven't read her for a while and I picked up Mansfield Park again recently as I was between books and was delighted all over again.

Bioluminescence - fireflies are always cool, but my favorite is marine bioluminescence where the water lights up when you move it or waves lit by millions of tiny, glowing swimmers.  There's a place in Puerto Rico that has the highest concentration of bioluminescence in the world.  You can kayak out into it at night and then swim.  When you dip a paddle into the water, the water lights up.  It's fantastic.

Charcuterie - because bacon, sausage, ham & pate are delicious.

Disinter - it's a wonderful word for digging something up.  This could also have been defenestrate, which is a lovely word for throwing something (including oneself) out a window.

8tracks.com - and the iPhone app.  My new favorite way to listen to music.

Forensic Files - my favorite TV show with new DVDs available.  If there was a way I could be a forensic analyst without having to take science classes (at which I am crap) I would spend my days doing something in this field.  Probably forensic graphology or serology, but pathology is also fascinating.

Gastronomy - everyone knows by now how much I love food.

Happy Hour - self-explanatory.

I'd Know You Anywhere - a quite well-written book by Laura Lippman.  It's creepy and thought provoking in all the best ways.

Jollity - both the word itself and what it means.

Killing, The - the series on AMC.  I know it's based on a Danish show which many people say is superior, but this show stands by itself.  I'll try to get a hold of the Danish show when I can, but for now, I'm totally satisfied.

Lovers - my new favorite band.  Not to be confused with The Lovers.  This music is relaxing and upbeat at the same time.  It's multi-purpose music.  You could run to it, or sleep to it.  Check it out.

Mashed potatoes - again, not explanations necessary.


Things I Could Do Without


Tweets pertaining to TV shows.

Tweets that quote.

Actually, let's just say most tweets and be done with it.

Status updates that make obscure reference to something personal designed to elicit inquiry.

Status updates about how little sleep one got.

People who change their profile picture every goddamed day.

Drivers of white BMWs. Yes. I'm calling out a specific color car. I don't know what it is, but extensive experience with asshole drivers has made it abundantly clear to me that, if expressed as a pie chart, the biggest piece of pie correlating to the biggest assholes would be drivers of white BMWs.

Popcorn flavored jellybeans.

Lisa Lillien. Ick.

Denim shorts of any size, length, or variety.


Ankle straps.

High-heeled flip-flops. I mean, seriously.

Extreme Chef. Clearly Food Network has gone over the edge, here. Although, I guess if you went to culinary school to learn how to cook a lion that you caught with your bare hands on a car engine in a dust storm while balancing on a rolling log bound for a field of metal spikes, this is your time to shine.

Cupcakes. I mean can we please move on? Surely there's something else for dessert out there.

Restaurants serving comfort food. Come on, people, look at the obesity rates. We don't need to be more comfortable eating soft, high-calorie food. And also, BORING. A challenge to the palate is a good thing. There's more to life than mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and meatloaf (though all have their occasional place).

The chick at my yoga studio who brings her phone into the yoga room and always leaves the ringer on until it rings and then acts all embarrassed.

Summer in Vegas. It seems wrong to live someplace where ice is on offer at all grocery stores to prevent your food from spoiling on the drive home.

Kevin James movies.

Michael Bay.

Dirty (by which I mean having dirt/debris in them) library books. I checked out a book the other day so full of cat hair I had to take two Allegra just to get it in the car for the drive back to the library.

Parents who let their kid "cry it out" in public. I know babies cry, but while I'm out to dinner maybe, just maybe, you could try to keep them happy so that we all aren't as miserable as your poor child. If this means one of you has to leave your meal to walk the kid around, then that's what you need to do. Or get a sitter.

Energy drinks.

And last, but most assuredly not least, fitness apparel worn as regular clothing.