6.6.11

Lost

Last night I had a great idea. I know how great it was because as I was falling asleep, I laughed about it and woke myself up again. I almost got up and started writing right then, but laziness and sleepiness got the better of me.

This morning I can't remember what the fuck the idea was. At all. I recall, vividly, starting writing in my head as I fell asleep. And yet, the whole thing is gone but the knowledge it was once there. Talk about annoying.

Actually, I imagine this feeling is what the early stages of Alzheimer's disease must feel like. Seriously. Knowing that you can't remember is one of the most frustrating things I can think of.

I thought about making a note last night, but I even remember thinking, "No, this idea is so great, I'll definitely remember it."

This is not the first time this has ever happened to me. Several genius ideas have been lost forever due to my unwillingness to just write it the fuck down when I thought of it.

What is that? I have a pen and paper, not to mention an iPad, computer, and iPhone next to my bed. All I'd have to do is grab one of them and I would be writing something brilliant now instead of this. But no. I have to test myself. I need to remember without help.

Haven't I learned that technology has made me dumber? It's true. I feel it. Not only has it wreaked havoc on my attention span, it's sucked some of my brain out.

I used to know people's phone numbers. I used to remember addresses. I used to be able to memorize entire plays in a few hours. My German vocabulary was outstanding.

Now I struggle to remember stitch patterns I've used dozens of times. I need to check the proportions on recipes I make regularly. I have to practically tie my water bottle to my wrist so I don't leave it places.

Maybe I'm wrong to blame technology, but I feel that, because I don't need to remember, because I have about 7,000 devices to do it for me, I've lost some of my ability to remember.

I guess until I put some effort into re-training my brain to remember, I need to at least write ideas down on paper so they aren't all lost.

Still, this crap makes me want to break things. Lots and lots of glass things. Fortunately, I'm too lazy to want to clean up the resulting broken glass and I don't have a Roomba.

1 comments:

Yolk E said...

I notice that gradual brain seepage occasionally, too. I tend to rationalize that since I'm constantly learning new things, the brain is just making space for the new (and better, right?!?) info. Then, I'm dismayed when I remember--ha--that we only use about 15% of our brains, so it probably IS my fault somehow that I can't remember everything I want.