Just Don't

I love lists. Lists of what to do, what to pack, what to buy, take, see. Lists of places to go, books to read, music to check out.  So it seems natural to have a list of things to avoid, but somehow that list has been unmade. Until now*.

Don't, for Christ's sake, engage in gossip - that includes listening.

Don't give the benefit of the doubt to the same person twice.

Don't forget to take your lip gloss out of your pocket before putting your pants in the washer, and ultimately, the dryer, where it will Rorschach the entire load.

Don't forget that most illness is passed through touch, so wash your hands. A lot - but not compulsively or anything.

Don't put too much stock in advanced forecasts when planning outdoor events.

Don't let psychics be anything more than amusing.

Don't tell other people's secrets.

Don't expect secrets to remain secret after you tell everyone you know.

Don't neglect maintenance. A little work now is much better than a big nightmare later.

Don't try to do a two-person job alone. It leads to things like sprains, strains, broken glass, and added expense.

Don't go on a road trip without knowing how to change a tire and check oil. It's a life saver in the middle of Wyoming in the middle of the night. Seriously.

Don't depend solely on battery powered devices to tell you how or when to get there or help you get out of a bad situation.

Don't go on pity dates.

Don't buy shoes that hurt. Adorability is not worth fucked up feet.

Don't forget to stretch.

Don't agree to something that makes you uncomfortable.

Don't be flaky.

Don't forget that yours is not the only time that's valuable.

Don't rush into tattoos or piercings.

Don't worry too much about a bad haircut.

Don't, please, tell me the details of your ill-advised sexual escapades.

Don't believe he'll change because you love him.

And finally, don't forget that this list will never be complete.

*Thanks to Hannah for the idea of the to-don't list.


hannahjustbreathe said...

Ah yes, the mutual love of lists. We are quite a pair, aren't we?

LOVE this list of don'ts. Especially the "Don't give the benefit of the doubt to the same person twice." I had to learn that lesson the hard way recently. And it wasn't pretty.

Dorothy said...

Yes. That's a hard one. It took me a couple of times to nail that one, too.

And the list thing - I just discovered Listography.com. I super love it.