19.11.10

I Can't

I can't go to yoga today because my car won't start, I feel a cold coming on, I don't have any clean clothes, I snagged my favorite sweater on a tree yesterday and it unraveled and I'm dealing with that loss, I've lost my sense of direction, I'm tired, I'm trapped under something heavy, my cousin's husband's goldfish is getting bar mitzvahed in Weehawken next week and I have to get ready to go, the dog ate my yoga mat, I'm having company next month, that bitch in the front row keeps eyeballing me, I have 150 pages left in my library book and it's due by the end of the day, I'm out of milk, traffic could be bad, FedEx left a package for my neighbor with me and I need to stay home to give it to him, the baseboards need scrubbing, the yard is a mess, I can't find my left sock, I hate that teacher, my right hamstring aches, I'm in training for the Monopoly world championships, I'm out of water, I can't feel my legs, I'm washing my hair, I left my heart in San Francisco, I left my wallet in El Segundo, I tripped, the sink is clogged, I'm learning how to delay gratification, I can't find my favorite paper clip, the cat's sick, it's going to rain, it might be crowded, I'm expecting a call, the studio just got painted and it smells weird, I'm totally dehydrated, I have a weird taste in my mouth, my nose is stuffy, my pen doesn't work, there's no line at the DMV so I'm registering my car early, my best friend is competing in the "Best Bangs" contest at bangs.com and we're waiting for the results together, the Academy Awards are less than a year away, it's too hot, it's too cold, I have my period, I'm pre-menstrual, I think I may have drunk sour milk, I have a date, I haven't had breakfast, I had too much Jamaican food last night, I'm hungover, and last, but not least, because I don't want to.

This is the tip of the iceberg for reasons not to go to yoga.  Pick your favorite.  No matter what, it's stupid.  Just go to class.  Now.

4 comments:

Catherine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Catherine said...

I gotta get it; I got, got, to get it...

LOVE THIS. (My dogs have actually chewed my yoga mat.)

(Hey wait, there IS NO bangs.com!!!)

Dorothy said...

What!? No bangs.com? Were you checking up on me?

I bet a sweat yoga mat is delicious - you know, if you're a dog. ^__^

hannahjustbreathe said...

BRILLIANT.