What we don't talk about when we talk about love is interesting.

The truth is, love is hard.  All of it.  Romantic or not.  This is what we never talk about. 

Love is compromise and hurt and misunderstanding.  It certainly does NOT mean never having to say you’re sorry.  Actually, it means sometimes you have to say you’re sorry even when you don’t really think you’re wrong.  It means that when someone you love tells you something unpleasant about yourself, you have to listen and take it into consideration.  Love means that sometimes, when you’re both sick, you have to take care of someone else because they’re sicker.  It means occasionally cleaning up vomit and changing diapers (baby and adult).  It means you’ll have to get over yourself.  Love makes you crazy.  It won’t allow you to stay angry for too long.  Love makes you protective and helpless at the same time -- protective of your loved ones and helpless to actually protect them -- from almost anything, but especially themselves.  Love means shutting the fuck up sometimes when you really have something to say.  It means that there will be people you dislike on behalf of someone else.  It also means that you will feel embarrassment and hurt and pain for and with someone else.  Love will make you worry.  It'll make you mean sometimes.  It'll make you reassess.  It'll make you tired.  As Rob Sheffield so aptly wrote, "The work of love will make you bloody and it will make you lonely."

Love will kick your ass up and down the street.  Amazingly enough, though, as hard as it is, it's the greatest thing going.  Still, all of it should be talked about, because it's all good stuff, even when it's hard.  Sometimes it's good because it's hard.  Even the puke cleaning.*

*What did I get out of cleaning up vomit?  Well, aside from a case of the dry-heaves, I got the knowledge that the person I love could go back to sleep and not worry about it.  


Catherine said...

This is so great, and puts into words so many things that I've never been able to, especially the linking of adult diapers and being bloody and lonely.

I often felt like nobody understood, but this helps me remember that some feelings are universal regardless of the situation's particulars.

Thank you so, so much.

Dorothy said...

I'm glad you identify, Catherine. I've often felt like I was a little crazy forthinking this stuff, so I'm glad
to know I'm not the only one.

hannahjustbreathe said...

In a word: awesome.

I'd say I LOVE this post, but, having read it through two times, I don't feel I can throw that word around as lightly as before.

Dorothy said...

Thanks, Lady! It was kind of inspired by you're post the other day, so I'm glad you enjoyed.

brookem said...

this is a lovely post. glad i stumbled upon it today.

Dorothy said...

Thanks, brookem! I'm glad you liked it.