6.8.10

Idiocy

Recently, I was in a yoga class with a couple of Matt's coworkers. One of them, we'll call her Shelly, belongs to the same studio we do and she brought her coworker, we'll call her Sunny, with her.

I've been in class with Shelly a few times. She's pretty consistent with her practice. She tends to like the back corners, though, so sometimes I don't even see her until class is over.

Sunny is not a regular practitioner of yoga, although her sister is a Bikram teacher. But she's done it enough that she knows the poses by name and knows what a class is like.

Another thing I should mention is that Sunny and Matt sort of dated briefly. I say sort of because neither of them was calling it that and she was also sort of involved with a couple of other people at the same time. Nothing major (at least as far as Matt understood it). When she found out that I was moving to Vegas, though, she sent Matt a ridiculous email written in a state of extreme intoxication that said, in summary, that she never told him before how much she really liked him and she was sorry about that but that he should have known and that he was an asshole for not forcing it out of her.

So, my relationship with Sunny has always been slightly odd, but overall, I like her. She's entirely insane (really), but she's a good converstionalist and she's pretty funny. We're never going to be more than casually acquainted and that's just fine.

Anyway, Sunny has put on quite a lot of weight in the last couple of years and is trying to get back into a routine of regular exercise. Cool. And this brings us back to her coming to yoga with Shelly.

Even though Sunny knows I do a crapwad of yoga, she was surprised to see me. And this is where the idiocy began, I think.

I saw the look on her face when she spotted me. She covered well, but she was clearly not pleased.

Given the option, I tend to set up in front or middle mostly. So I was in the middle. Sunny came in and, instead of setting up with Shelly in the back, set her mat right next to mine. Okay. Weird, but okay.

Class started and I could feel the competition radiating off her. I'm not competitive by nature, so I don't really get it, but by eagle, her constant appraisal of me in the mirror started to give me the giggles.

I fell out of eagle and tried to get myself together. I finally gathered my composure by scratching myself really hard on the back of my hand.

Eagle down, only a hundred and seventy-four more poses to go... Or that's how it felt anyway.

Standing head to knee was fine for me. It's a pretty strong posture for me, but again, I could feel her looking at me. And I could see she was trying to push futher in than pose than she should.

The ridiculosity of the situation grew with every pose. I tried (really hard) to ignore it. But the laughter kept rising in my chest.

I coughed and 'sneezed' and pinched and poked and scratched myself silly so I wouldn't burst into bone-rattling laughter. All the while Sunny was doing her damnedest.

I was half tempted to 'throw' my practice so she would go a little easier, but I didn't. And then between sets of triangle, she went down, white-faced and breathless.

She got up again by second set of separate leg head to knee and ego-ed her way through the rest of standing series looking like she might die. By spine series her face wasn't white, it was redder than Rudolph's nose and her breathing was labored. We got through the rest of class without her passing out or me laughing, but it wasn't a good class for either of us.

Still, the ludicrousness of it was hilarious to me. I mean Christ on a cracker, dude. Yoga is supposed to be about your own practice wherever that is. Not about how your practice compares to mine.

We all walked out together and she still looked like she was going to barf and die. She called in sick to work that day. Yoga isn't supposed to make you sick - at least not past barfing a little every now and then and not so you miss work.

So that's my cautionary tale of idiocy for the week. Take what you can from it - even if that's just that there are several methods to stop unwelcome fits of laughter from erupting in class.



7 comments:

Catherine said...

This was an awesome account. And I love you for using the word "ridiculosity." Glad you had an entertaining class!

Dorothy said...

Ridiculosity is one of my favorite made up words. And it really is the best word for the situation.

Kristie said...

I say Christ on a cracker, too. I didn't think anyone else in the world said that.

Sue said...

laffing my head off!

Dorothy said...

Kristie - It's a good one. ^__^

Sue - Glad you enjoyed it!

hannahjustbreathe said...

Yeahhh....competition in yoga classes? Don't get it. AT ALL. I love the classes where you're practicing next to a really strong yogi who HELPS push you, simply because they're pushing so hard themselves.

But this Sunny chick---eh, she sounds more silly than sunny!

Dorothy said...

I love the classes where your neighbor pushes/pulls you along, too. It's really fun. And yes, Sunny is silly, but entertaining.