Sweet on the Outside; Evil on the Inside

I'm sure everyone has known at least one of these women.  The ones who seem sweet and cute, but have a bubbling cesspool of a soul right below the surface?  I find that Southern women, in particular, have nailed this personality to a T.  Not that they have the monopoly by any means, but they do have it down to perfection.

My grandfather's fourth (and final) wife (although not his last girlfriend...) was just such a person.  She said things and even acted (in front of company) like the sweetest, most caring, compassionate Christian lady to come along since Mother Teresa.  But get the 'outsiders' out the door and she was a viper.  Never had a nice word to say about anyone except her grandsons.

Yeah.  So I've encountered another such person.  This isn't so shocking by itself, but I was shocked to find it was someone I was friends with as a kid.  I never really thought of her as even being a grownup (let alone secretly evil) since the last time I saw her was when I was 13.  She stayed forever a kid.  Until recently when she found me on Facebook.  Oh, how I have come to love to hate Facebook for just this reason.

Anyway, we reminisced.  That was fun.  And then we moved into more current stuff:  what have you been doing since 7th grade?  how did you meet your husband?  All the standard stuff.  And then she told me she'd had a really bad car accident and how it had prompted her "awakening to Christ."

This, too, is not unusual, or even surprising.  Many people come to faith after a life-altering event.  Whatever floats your boat.

So she asked me to start reading her blog.  I did.  It's wretched in both content and writing, but sort of like a bus accident.  I can't help myself.  I look at it about once a week.  Anyway, the content of this blog is largely about how great Christ is and how great she is for being such a great Christian.

She talks a lot about her 'service' in the name of Christ and how she loves everyone.  Now, again, I don't have a problem with people loving Jesus.  I don't even care that she brags a little too much about how good a Christian she is.  Or I wouldn't care, but well, it's not true.

I found this out the hard way.  She was in town with her husband over the weekend.  They don't drink and they don't gamble.  Uh, what?  Did you think you were headed someplace else?  Because really, if you don't drink and you don't gamble and you don't have friends here, there's not a whole lot you're going to find to do.  Sure, you can see some or all of the 89 Cirque du Soleil shows or Lion King, but those are a couple of hours in the evening.  You've got a lot of time to kill and not much to do.

Anyway, she sent me a message on Facebook last Thursday to tell me that she and her husband would be in town and she wanted to try to get together.  I would have suggested drinks, but well...  Anyway, I said maybe lunch one day.  From the blog I realized that we have little in common anymore and wanted to limit the time we spent together.

Somehow, though, we settled on dinner on Saturday night.  Matt works on Saturday nights (lucky) so he didn't come with me.  Which is probably a really good thing.  We ended up at Cheesecake Factory (which has a location in Caesar's that I never noticed before) because when I suggested Spago she wasn't really pleased with the price-point and when I suggested a Thai place off the strip she replied, "haha.  Like I'd eat that!"  I'm going do digress again for a moment to say that 1)  I hate the Cheesecake Factory and 2) I will never understand why people travel to new places only to do exactly what they do at home. If you don't want to experience new things, save your money.  Stay home.  Do what you always do.  And for god's sake do not come to Vegas and ask me to meet you at the Cheesecake Factory.  And also, I am aware that there are several people who want to argue that they do have good cheesecake, but I don't like cheesecake so there's nothing to redeem it as far as I'm concerned.

Well, anyway, there I am at the Cheesecake Factory with these two exemplary Christians.  Things started fine.  A little weird, but okay.  Tina asked where we live and I told her.  Her husband, Al, said he knew the area and it was nice.  So I asked how he knew Summerlin.

Al:  Oh, my brother used to live here and that's where he lived after he figured things out.

Tina:  Yeah.  When he first moved here, he lived in the wrong part of town, if you know what I mean.

Me:  Oh.  Where did he live at first?  (Because to be fair, there are parts of Vegas, like any city, that have higher crime rates and less property value, but I had a feeling I knew where it was going.)

Al:  I don't really know.  He only lived there for, like, 3 weeks, I think, but he said there were Mexicans everywhere.  Like cockroaches.

Me:  Huh.  (because this left me otherwise speechless.)

So now I'm uncomfortable.  And it got worse.  Somehow, these two kind-hearted, Christian do-gooders, were the most picked-on, unlucky sons-of-bitches ever, at least to hear them tell it.  The Jews (yes that's what they said) were trying to buy a bunch of houses in their gated community and "change everything."  I don't even know what that means and I certainly don't know how to respond.  A woman allegedly rear-ended them in a parking lot and, in spite of the fact that neither of the cars was damaged, they called the police to report that she'd fled the scene of an accident - after she had stopped and they had both agreed that no damage was done because she didn't offer her insurance information.  Two 'mixed' girls selling magazine subscriptions for a fundraiser asked "lots of rude questions and wanted to know things that were none of their business."  This led Tina to believe that they weren't really selling subscriptions, but casing the house so their boyfriends could come back later and rob them.

They are highly suspicious of almost everyone. They are also convinced that their postal carrier (a black man, apparently, although they described him in other terms) is stealing their mail in order to steal their identities.  They treated the waitress like shit and talked about how they couldn't believe how many Asians were here.

I realize that all of this hatefulness and suspiciousness is due to fear.  I still don't really understand, though.  I've never understood why people are convinced that someone else is going to try to hurt them.  Sure, there are some horrible people in the world who do horrible things for no reason, but the odds of my ever encountering one of them is slim.  If you don't feel like you need to murder someone in their bed, why do you think the guy in line behind you at the checkout is stalking you to do just that?

In spite of their proclamations that they get their strength from Christ and through him find ways to deal with the trials god puts before them, they sound like they aren't getting much pleasure or happiness from life.  I don't know if meanness of spirit makes you unhappy or if unhappiness makes you mean of spirit, or maybe it goes both ways.  All I know is that I'm pretty sure Christ didn't want you calling anyone a porch monkey or a nigger or washing your hands after and Asian woman grabs your hand accidentally mistaking you for her kid.  And if this is the kind of person you are, don't hide behind a diamond cross around your throat.  If you know enough to hide it from the general public, you should know better than to act like that.


Dirty Kitten said...

They suck. After you told me this, I told EVERYONE WE KNOW. And I de-friended her, too.

bikramyogachick said...

Oh my God what a horrid story! You are going to need ALOT of yoga to recover from that night....sheesh!
(love the statement at the end about not hiding behind the diamond cross around your throat. Nicely done!)

Kyla Roma said...

Found you through Hannah just breathe, and wow!

This stuff is so hard to watch, I think that it's sad because it speaks to just such a disconnect- people know what they should do and should want and then they just cannot deliver or can't see past their ego and prejudices. And they don't want to work hard enough to get to the place where they can break through that - they want to be validated by faith, not changed.

It just sounds exhausting to live like that, like you would NEED a blog to talk about how awesome you are just to get through that mentally.

I hope you don't have to spend too much with with her! Thats a little too much to take, I think =)

Dorothy said...

DK - Um, did you get her message demanding an explanation? Because I did. So I blocked her.

BYC - Yeah, it was icky. And her cross was so big and diamond encrusted it might drown her if she went in the water.

Kyla - Thanks for dropping in! Yeah, it does sound exhausting. And boring at the same time. Fortunately, I skipped the cheesecake for dessert and overall was only with them for about 2 hours. And I never have to see them again. So yay for that.

Lady J said...

I just found you from Michelle. That sounds like a horrid experience but your writing certainly made me laugh.

Dorothy said...

Lady J - Thanks for saying hi! It was, truly, horrid. And while it completely lacked humor as it happened, it became funny later on.

restaurantrefugee said...

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm a little late to the party (the number in my blog reader is big enough to choke Sea Bisquit) but for the love of Bacon and all things holy, why do people like this have to exist in what we would like to believe is a civilized world?

My first thoughts as I was reading, however, were that people who know good food ought to get some sort of discount when we're forced to eat at Cheesecake Factory... kinda like the culinary equivalent of hazardous-duty-pay.

Dorothy said...

Refugee - I love your discount idea. Because it is a hazard to eat at Cheesecake Factory. And I don't know why they have to exist. Perhaps some kind of test for the truly civilized/socialized? Either way, I'd forego the test to never have this experience again. A