12.1.10

Time's Come

As much as we hate to admit it, most of our relationships are finite.  I'm not talking about romantic relationships, I'm talking about all relationships.  We'd like believe that our best friend is actually our best friend forever. 

For almost 20 years I had the same best friend.  And then something happened.  It was quick.  There was no longer a give and take in the relationship.  I realize that there are times when each person in a relationship needs more.  The problem became that she always needed the time, reassurance, cheerleading, encouragement, etc.  I became a kind of therapist - even though I begged her to find professional help.  For two years I did my best to be there for her.  But it stopped working.  Because it became too uneven. 

So I evaded for a while.  I hoped that she would find an equilibrium and let me off the hook a little so we might regain our balance.  That didn't happen, though.  She called me so much that I nearly changed my phone number. 

I can't do it anymore.  The time has come to shoot the horse.  It's hard, although when I think about it, I can't really figure out why.  Our friendship has been over for a long time.  I've been suffering her suffering because I didn't want to really admit that we aren't friends anymore. 

These are days I'd like to forgo.  But I can't ignore it anymore.  I can't hope that it will change, because it won't.  So now I have to have a hard conversation.  It isn't the first time and it won't be the last, but that doesn't make it better.  Saying goodbye is never easy.

5 comments:

hannahjustbreathe said...

"These are the days I'd like to forgo." Oh, yes. I know that feeling.

You're right---letting go of friendships is never easy. But, it is usually necessary, at some point. Good luck, mi amiga.

Dorothy said...

Yeah. It was rough, but it's done.

Green Of Eye, Sharp Of Claw said...

Dorothy, well done on recognising and having the guts to do something about it!

There are plenty of friendships and relationships in existence that should have dispersed a long time about. Most people are too stuck to realise it.Onwards and upwards :)

Green Of Eye, Sharp Of Claw said...

about=ago.
Darn spelling gremlins :)

Dorothy said...

Thanks, Green! I hate the spelling gremlins. They get me a lot. Yes. Onwards and upwards!