I feel slack.  Not like a slacker, mind you, just slack.  Like the tension just broke and I'm all loose and, well, slack.  I like the sensation, but I know that what's coming in the realm of tension is going to exceed my normal limits.

See, my in-laws are coming for Christmas.  Under the best circumstances, I only like about half of them, but circumstances are not usually the best.  Usually, as will occur starting on the 24th of this month, they will descend en masse (not that the masse is so large, but they don't trickle is all I'm saying) having already spent too much time in the car together.

Matt's aunt and mother fight a lot.  A lot.  And then they stop speaking to each other for months and/or years at a time.  You might not realize how awesome this makes family gatherings, so let me just say, it's just fantastic.

Matt's dad is pretty quiet most of the time - to the point that conversation is somewhat difficult.  This, too, makes gatherings a blast.  I hear that conversations that begin and end in 30 seconds or less are de rigueur this holiday season.  I'm only sorry I can't put a 30-second conversation in all of your Christmas stockings as a little bonus.

Matt's brother and brother's girlfriend are cool people, but even they will be cranky and unpleasant by the time they arrive.  This will be justified as having spent 5 hours in a car with people who are fighting and/or silent is bound to get to even the most fun-loving person.

I don't have to put all of them up (so sad) because we don't have the room, but they're all going to be at our house most of the time.  This is my real Christmas present from Santa.  Apparently I've been naughty.

I wish I liked them better.  I really do.  I also deal with them much better in smaller groupings.  Somehow togetherness is not their strong suit.  It exacerbates lifetimes-old rivalries and brings decades-old arguments back to the present.

They don't arrive for 21 days and the bickering has already commenced.  There's the question of who will be staying with us and which of the party will be staying at a hotel and what so-and-so has on his/her Christmas list. 

Then there's the matter of food.  One person doesn't like fish, another doesn't eat beef, three really "don't care for" lamb.  One would really prefer to have turkey and one is a pescetarian.  Sweet Jesus and ice cream.  So after much email negotiation, I've settled on  a bone-in pork loin for the bulk of the party and a largeish piece of salmon for the pain in my ass pescetarian.

I can feel the pull on the end of the line already.


hannahjustbreathe said...

Ohhh, yes. Holidays. My poor parents---we just descend on them each year. I tell myself they love it. But, I'm sure my mother feels a similar stress about food and my father a similar stress about logistics of sleeping, parking cars, and the like.

At least presents can be found in this pile of shit. And hopefully good presents, too!!

Dorothy said...

I'm sure your parents love it. If it were my own family coming, I know I'd feel differently. It's unfair to the in-laws, but true, nontheless. But presents make things easier, indeed! ^___^