1.11.09

Dizzy Camels

Okay, so I know you're supposed to get dizzy and emotional in camel.  The dizzy happens often - the emotional component is infrequent.  For the last few days, though, I've gotten so dizzy that I come close to losing consciousness.  Actually, I collapsed backwards yesterday in second set and hit my head pretty hard.

It panics me as it's happening.  And when I come out I'm so disoriented I can barely move for a few seconds.  I've been paying attention to my breathing.  It's good, even, and calm.  And then, suddenly, the dark edges collapse in and I can't see the back wall anymore.  I can't see anything.  I can't feel my arms or head and I know if I stay in the pose, I'll actually pass out. 

I have low blood pressure.  I've been a fainter all my life.  I know when it's about to happen.  I've been very close to losing consciousness several times in the last few days.  It's really only in camel, though.  Every other pose is fine.

I've never had trouble with camel before.  Possibly I'm hitting some kind of wall that I need to break through.  Maybe I'm blocking something emotional that's fucking with me.  I don't know.  All I know is that it's kind of irritating.

I know I have to be patient and take my practice as it is every day.  I'm aware that continuing to do the work will finally get me where I need to be, but sweet Jesus and ice cream, man!  It's always a bastard when these things pop up so suddenly.

Note to self:  work on your patience and letting go of expectation. 

4 comments:

hannahjustbreathe said...

Don't hate me, but I LOVE camel. I think it is, hands down, the most fascinating, challenging, and inspiring asana of the entire series. Nothing makes sense in it which is why it all seems to make such great sense.

I'm sure you're right---that you're just working through something. And that part of that "something" might be your patience and your expectations. One of my favorite sayings from a favorite teacher is: "Everything you are feeling is right, normal, good. Just relax and send the breath to where it hurts."

That phrase is on repeat in my head, the moment I come up out of camel.

Dorothy said...

Aw. You're cute. Who could hate you? Camel is typically filed in "innocuous" but not right now... I'm going to try your mantra, though. I hope it works... ^___^

bikramyogachick said...

You know what is interesting....King has been talking about contracting your neck in this posture lately. That most of us can do that, but a small percentage of us cannot. It cuts off our blood supply and we get dizzy, can't breathe. I wonder if all of the sudden you are contracting your neck more than normal and not realizing it? Just something to think about. Good luck in your challenge. You and Hannah are both brave to do one this time of year!

Dorothy said...

He has talked about it a lot lately. I haven't thought about it in relation to myself until now, though, since I never had a problem before. I'll have to pay attention today to see if that's what's going on. Thanks for the reminder!