Time to Spare

I have a lot of time on my hands right now. Hours and hours a day, free to be a productive person. I find that when I have a lot of time, I don't get nearly as much done as when I have less.

Lately I've been reading Hannah, Just Breathe a lot. I love her blog. I also read Nicola Six and Daily Meh.

Boy Meets Love is also pretty cool, I like his taste in music mostly and it's a quick read. I love to read these blogs because it reminds me how much I love to write.

I love to write and yet I don't do it very often. It's lame. I while away hours reading other people's writing. I tell little stories to myself as I go about my day and especially when I'm walking or riding my bike (which will be an evening activity until about October now because it's gotten hot). In bed at night, after Matt falls asleep, I compose little stories, book reviews, music reviews, etc. But somehow, I'm so not busy that I don't get anything done.

Okay, I get lots of stuff done, but nothing that I want to get done. I have a sweater about half-done, a couple of scarves in various states of incompletion, a thousand pieces of paper that I have cut out of newspapers and magazines, some of which have been applied to their intended collages, but most of which are still in manila envelopes waiting to be pasted to a box or a canvas with their friends.

I have about 100 stories started an a bunch of blog posts sitting in draft form, languishing away while I do a whole bunch of nothing. What's wrong with me?

I've thought long and hard about what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm living a fake life right now. It's stupid because it's the only life I get and I need to make better use of it, but I have trouble with that sometimes.

So now that I've done more of something besides what I think I should be doing, I will stop and perhaps knit a couple of rows.