6.5.09

Longing

I've been missing California.

Tonight I really wished I could climb in the car and take Sunset to PCH and then drive all the way up to Oxnard. I miss that drive. I have two favorite drives in SoCal. This drive and the drive from Mulholland and Cahuenga on Mulholland out to PCH and up to Santa Barbara.

I miss the smell of the ocean and the late-night fog rolling in from somewhere deep in the oceanic darkness that stretches west until it's east again.

I miss driving around LA in the wee hours of the morning. Even Los Angeles seems empty around 3AM.

I miss Runyon Canyon and Griffith Park. I miss the Greek and the smell of flowers. I miss my neighborhood and the diversity. I miss the silky air and movies in the cemetery and the farmers markets.

I want to smell the ocean and feel the sand between my toes. I want to throw my board in the water and surf for a few hours. I want to spend an afternoon at Duke's and watch the sun set over the ocean.

Well - as my grandmother used to say, "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which on fills up first." This longing will pass. It will. But tonight it makes my jaw ache and my chest tight and I will go to sleep and dream the things I can't have right now.

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