1.3.07

Peeved

People who are bad houseguests are some of the most irritating people in the world.

Here's a list of WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN STAYING AT MY HOUSE:

1) Under no circumstances should you go through my medicine cabinet. I realize that this is something that many people do, and I further realize that many people would never notice that you did so. I am, what we will call, particular. My medicine cabinet is in a very specific order, down to the directions the labels on things face. It's tidy and I know what it looks like. If someone sticks their giant fist in there and moves stuff around, I know about it.

2) Don't steal presription drugs from my roommate. Tacky. And... illegal.

3) When you are told that five days is too long for you to stay, don't lie and say you're staying two days and then end up staying five. It's childish. And inconsiderate.

4) Don't make a giant mess in the living room.

5) Don't feel compelled to talk when you have nothing interesting or informed to say.

6) Hair stuck with ejaculate to my shower curtain is uacceptable. And just disgusting.

7) Never call me at midnight to ask me to pick you up from somewhere I'm not.

8) Avoid telling me stories back to me that I told you as if they were your own.

And finally...

9) Refrain from complaining about everything.

Follow this guide and we'll get along very well and have a great time. Otherwise, well, go elsewhere.