28.11.06

Please

If the only thing you read is Sports Illustrated every week, please, for the love of sweet tapdancing christ, don't tell me that you read 'a lot.' Because we all know that only one in thousands actually read magazines - particularly a whole magazine. First of all, half of any magazine is ads. Secondly, (and we all know this to be true) almost - and I stress almost - the only time anyone reads an entire magazine is when there's nothing else to do (airplanes, doctors' offices, etc.). Most of the time we read snipits. In Sports Illustrated I'm guessing that a large number of subscribers look at the pictures and read the captions and then look over some synopses of games and scores. This is the equivalent of watching ESPN at the bar with the captions on. Which means it isn't reading, let alone reading 'a lot.'

I don't really care if you read a lot or not. If you have the ability to have a conversation about something other than what's on Entertainment Tonight or how you spent the weekend playing the latest version of Grand Theft Auto, I'm perfectly happy. If you don't have that ability, well then, I probably don't want to talk to you, but I don't think you'll mind. I just don't want the bullshit line fed to me as if saying it will make it true and impress me.